Adjustment at 4 months

I'm hoping all these pictures make up for me not posting in so long! Before we went to Ethiopia I swore I would not be one of those people who spends a lot of time on the computer posting on my blog and to my adoption yahoo groups, only to return home and disappear from cyberspace, yet here I am, definitely one of those people!

Life is so busy around here. And I don't mean busy because we are running around to a hundred different activities a week because we don't, I mean busy being a homeschooling mom and a parent. It is so hard to find the time to blog. Once the kids are in bed I have to decide between getting some work done, spending time with Sergio, spending time with God, or doing something really wierd like relaxing!

The 26th of Nov. was our 4 month mark for the kids being home! As I remember my old posts tonight I am so thankful for God's grace in getting us through those first weeks and for the fast and continued progress in our adjustment. So far the bonding with the kids is going really well. Leul has started being much more affectionate with us, I even got about 4 kisses on the cheek from him today! And his relationship with his siblings is so much better than it was even one month ago. He now uses encouraging words with them, apologizes when he's done something to them, and puts up with them giving him hugs. Hana is bonding well too, but she did right from the start. Her only sibling issue was Olivia not wanting much to do with her in the beginning, but that is getting much better. I don't know what Olivia's problem was with Hana. I think she was mad that we left her for 8 days and when we came home with Hana she decided to hold a grudge against her! More and more they play together now, the other day she even wanted Hana rather than me when she fell!

Mateo went through a little funk a few weeks ago with having a very bad attitude. It seemed to stem from that good old testosterone and his desire to compete and win. I think he was having a hard time dealing with the fact that he now has an older brother who basically (for the time being anyway) can beat him at anything, and not only CAN beat him, but WILL beat him, and feels no need to cut the little guy some slack. Thank God it only last a week or two because Mateo who normally is one of my easiest kids, was no fun to be around at all. He bounced back quickly though and we now only see his attitude every now and then.

I think I am the one having the hardest time dealing with adjustment right now! Once in awhile the heartache of knowing Hana and Leul have been seperated from people whom they love dearly hits me. Today I was looking at pictures from our trip to Ethiopia (so that I could finally print some out) and I just lost it. I spent much time crying about the fact that every day we have to enjoy Leul and Hana is a day that their bio families are missing out on them. It just breaks my heart. I had been looking at pictures of Leul hugging his Ethiopian mom one last time before we got in the taxi to leave. I will probably never know the pain of giving one of my children up for adoption, yet looking at the pictures, I think I felt just a bit of the sorrow she must have felt that day. What an unselfish and strong love she has for her son.

I have also been really uptight lately. Much of the time it seems like our house is either in total chaos, or it's a bootcamp and I'm having a hard time getting somewhere in the middle. The good thing is that I have a good encouraging support system and I am working hard (with God's help, because I couldn't do it on my own) to ease up a bit! The past week has been a lot better than the previous ones and I'm praying this week will be even better. I am constantly having to humble myself, but that's what God gave us kids for anyway right?